JU-ON-me

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with a friend of mine when at some point of the conversation she tells me she wants to watch a horror film. I totally agreed. I love to shit my pants every once in a while.

So I thought: "which film has some fucked up scenes?" Ju-on popped out of the top of my not-so-sick brain. Next thought: the office scene. I'll tell you about it rrrrrrright now:

There's this broad who's the male character's sister and she works in Tokyo, same city as him. Let's call her "the bitch". She knows dick about the language and she fits in Tokyo as much as an iceberg fits in a dog's ass.

So there she is, doing some extra hours, sucking some corporative sack, when she feels she's done enough of it and leaves the office. We find her walking down the hall and stopping at times looking backwards. When she turns round a corner and starts running we know she's holding a turtlehead between those buns. After opening a door, the take goes to a staircase. This is where shit starts corroding your seat.

The bitch takes a call from her brother, only to fall into a doom pit of despair, victim of one of the scariest sounds ever made, aside of the sound of an airplane clashing against my chest. That penetrating deep growl is taken lightly, only to get her shit ruined moments later.

Lights start to go off and this strange frame-skipping creature crawls up the stairs. The bitch runs up the stairs as well but when she enters back to the hallway she gets stucked; she forcibly pulls back her cellphone, which had its stupid ass rabbit paw grabbed by the fucked-up-frames girl. The bitch falls down to the floor and fucked-up-frames stares at her retreating to the shadows with eyes saying: "I'll get your ass later, you fucking tramp."

That alone tells you she means shit.

The bitch runs off in fear towards the security room and tells the officer that there's something out there and to go look for it. Honestly, what a bitch.

The guard goes around looking for whatever the bitch may have seen but finds nothing. Since the bitch is shitting down all the way to her ankles, she needs to reassure the guard is doing his work and takes a look at the surveillance cameras, only to find a massive donkey erection coming out of the shadows in the form of the creepy frame-fucked girl. The bitch leaves the building in a non-shown fashion, which it baffles me since even I would be scared enough to even wipe my ass in fear the girl pops out of my rectum.

So she gets to the building where she lives and takes the elevator. As the elevator goes up, a ghost-like Toshio appears barely naked in each floor staring at the bitch. He also means business.

She gets to her place and takes another phone call from her brother (who's already been ass-raped). He's -apparently- right outside. She peeks through the door and sees him, opens the door and there's no one to be found. The phone rings and the growl ensues. The bitch runs straight to bed and turtles beneath the sheets when a lump lurks at the end of the bed and by the time she feels she's having her salad tossed the creepy girl pops out of her crotch and drags her to hell.

Now, if some asian adolescent girl were to stalk my rod like that, I'd teabag her to death and wouldn't live to tell. I'd smash my nuts against her teeth so hard that the plastic surgeon would have to tetris her face back. That's a scene I'd like to witness.

Right before the sack-whack. No frames were harmed during the face deconstruction.